Just because you put your Mum in a care home doesn’t mean you are uncaring or nasty. Alike lots of people, sometimes they just have no choice whatsoever. As my mum’s friend who is now well into her 80s has needed an ever increasing level of care.
Initially the routine was easy, as my friend said that her carers would be able let themselves in the front door 2-3 times a day. And then, a full-time nurse was recruited, to provide live in care for her throughout the day. As time passed, they then needed an extra person to come 2 times a day to help the nurse get his Mum both in and out of her bed. And my friends pain was made worse as him Mum insisted that she should stay in her own home. But this was all very daunting and tiring for them. But his Mum insisted, and right through to today this is where she still lives.
Why? Because that is what she wants, as this is where she has spent all her life. And why I help and provide him with all those things he needs to keep her in her home.
The double bed she slept in and wanted to stay in was moved downstairs.
Her furniture was either moved from her rooms to make it easier to get around without falling over it. And some special chairs and a rollator introduced so she can get around and into the kitchen if needed.
So with effort and friends help, an elderly person can stay in their own homes. She has a carer who ensures his mum drinks enough water, and who out of the kindness of her heart will remember birthdays and even helps decorate her Christmas tree. Such people are hard to find.
And he is lucky enough to live nearby to her and so can keep a close eye on her and visit regularly. Not everyone is so lucky. But any talk of moving his mum into a care home is quickly binned. And the concerns of expensive care costs, red tape and funding to negotiate to put them off.
And his mum insists that she would rather die than live away from her home and not the way she currently does. In fact, he thinks that this probably keeps her alive, the fact she is still living at home, rather than in a care home she would hate.
This is the first time where we as middle-aged or older adults, are left to deal with having to look after our parents (I also do this, and share some of my friends experiences).
So ask yourself, would you rather spend the money on care homes or would you rather share the burden of providing care to your parents (as hard as it is)? It’s a hard call, but one that my friend is happy to make, with my help (and I don’t just mean Mobility Aids, I mean the furniture moving etc etc) and I always will. I’d like to think that someday, someone will do it for me – fingers crossed.
No comments:
Post a Comment